Weather

When I look at other people's blogs, I typically look for the ones with the most pictures, and of those, I like the ones with the most color the best. Based on these judgments, I am NOT liking my blog right now. If it wasn't mine, I would pass over it without even reading the first post. I may be judgemental, but I try not to be hypocritical. Sometimes.

Never in my life have I thought so much about the weather! In phoenix, you always know what the weather's going to be. It'll be sunny. And hot. Yes, there is the occasional cloudy day, and OH dear lord, it even rains about once a year, but people get so excited they don't mind getting wet in the least, so when it comes to planning activities, at least for me, the weather doesn't usually come into play. Now here? Now hear this. In the three weeks I have been here, there have been SIX rainy days in two segments- one group of four days in a row, followed by several sunny days, and then a group of two days in a row. WHAT? I am flabbergasted. Bewildered. Astounded, confounded, and dumbfounded. Astonished. Stupified. Thunderstruck. Shocked into submission to the rain gods. Ok done with that. I'm enjoying that it rains here.

Rain

It's raining again. I had some definite ideas about rain when I was a child, and I will share them with you now. 1. Rain was never, ever a negative idea and under no circumstances should the word rain be used with dreary connotations. 2. It would rain frequently in Heaven. 3. Rain was made for dancing. 4. Never, ever, ever, ever would I, in a million years, get tired of rain, even if it rained every single day for said period of time. Well, being a rational adult, I can now admit that yes, there is the possibility that I would become weary of daily rain after several hundreds of days in a row, but it hasn't happened yet. I am listening to my rainy day playlist, which, contradictory to my childhood ideas contains some very sad songs. I just like the wistful, pensive mood it puts me in, sad or not.

My mom is coming to visit me on Saturday. I am really excited to see her and my sisters, and it makes me feel like a child pretending to be grown up because instead of welcoming them to my own place, I'm just going to be here while my Grandma is welcoming them into her home. A good situation, but it reminds me that I'm not so independent as I like to think I am. Kara, drop your stupid illusions and be freakin humble. No thank you, I'm happy with pretending.

Back To My Old Self

And that means procrastination. Or general avoidance of things that need to be done. Money-making, for example. I have a second job where I sell cutlery by making appointments with recommended clients but since I got the Deli job I've liked the idea of coming in, working hard, and not worrying about it when you leave. If I'm going to get paid for talking to people, can't it be something fun like interviewing celebrities? I'm so afraid of pushing people to buy something that I practically discourage them from making a purhase, which some people have done since the product sells itself with the quality. Good thing for me I don't have to do much other than state the facts. So today instead of making appointments on my day off, I drove around town taking pictures, drinking coffee, and then went to try and find a usb cable for my camera. Best Buy didn't have what I was looking for, so no pictures yet. Oh and I also practiced piano for a good two and a half hours.

Now I'm staying up late reading Sufjan Stevens lyrics which are amazingly haunting, just like his melodies. I had no idea what most of his songs were about, and now I can't stop listening to them over and over. The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is out to Get Us! I have heard five times in a row. So there you have some of my favorite music. It reminds me of L'abri.

Piano

While there is nothing more humiliating than someone cutting down your skill, so there is also nothing more ego-boosting than a skilled teacher telling you you're good. Last week at my first piano lesson, Dr. Dean (new teacher) told me in so many words that he was not especially impressed and that we had a lot of work to do, threw out my rhapsody that I had been working so hard on, (on the basis that it was too easy, even though I've been working for a year and still couldn't perform it) and gave me three new pieces to practice. Well, I was mad, to say the least, but determined to prove that I was good. This morning at approximately 9:12 he told me he was very pleased with how I had progressed during the week. I wonder if he knows how much power he has over me? Probably not, because any human would be bound to abuse it, but he is simply using it to make me work harder. Needless to say I will be practicing two hours a day now instead of one because I have a healthy sense of competition, even if I have no one to compete with but myself.

Goodbye, I need to put those batteries in my camera.

Today I bought batteries for my camera, which I have cruelly ignored for the past year and a half. Normally I can't help but feel incredibly cliche snapping pictures of myself and my friends, but lately I've been frustrated when I see something gorgeous and can't capture it because my camera is carelessly buried underneath my stash of chocolate at home, not to metion battery-less. For instance, this week has been cloudy, and yesterday as I was driving home, the clouds shrouding the mountain momentarily parted, revealing snow-covered peaks that took my breath away. The sense of awe I experience every time I see that mountain is overwhelming, and it never looks the same twice. I want to hike to the top of it someday soon.

After work tonight I went to this fun coffee shop where they have open mic night on Wednesdays. I went last week also, but tonight was especially good. The singers write their own music, and it's sponsored by the Southern Utah Song Writers Association. So this is how I am amusing myself without friends. Thank you.

Beginning again

Reviving my blog? I believe so. Sorry for not writing while at L'abri. That feels like forEVER ago, and I've changed immensely since then. Hopefully for the better, but I'll let you be the judge of that. In typical I-have-no-idea-what-to-do-with-my-life fashion, I suddenly made the decision to move to St. George, Utah, to live with my Great-Grandmother and establish residency while I continue practicing piano and mulling over the idea of going to Southern Utah University to study music. There is this Inspiring, Wonderful, Russian Professor there, Dr. Kirill Gliadkovsky, who I intend to study under. I still don't know what I am going to do when I graduate, or even what I want to learn. I take that back. I want to learn anything anyone will teach me. Classical, Jazz, Composition, Theory, Technique, maybe How to Sing On Key?

I got a job at this Deli in town where my Mom worked when she lived here during college. Women always say that one day you'll wake up and realize you're exactly like your mom, and I always strongly resented that, but listen to the paralells here: she went to the same school I want to go to, lived in the same house with the same grandmother, worked at the same deli, and studied Math. I'm not studying Math, but Music starts with the same letter so I put it on my list. My boss told me she'd be a bit nervous if I started dating an older man. (my parents are twenty years apart) So far there's no danger of that, but back to my point- I don't resent the similarities at all! Let the resentment begin when I wake up with four+ children. At least i know some things I don't want, right?