I never in a million years thought that Phoenix could be this attractive. I've been giving in to my cheesy side lately, and it is true that you never know what you've got till it's gone, and it took a year and a half of Utah to convince me that Phoenix is the best possible place for me right now. Not that Utah wasn't fantastic- the outdoors there are spectacular, but there is a kind of spiritual and cultural closed-mindedness that is frustrating and restricting. It's strange to me that despite how easy it is to travel these days, and how cheap and accessible the internet is, people still manage to be so entrenched in their own worldview that the thought of exploring someone else's doesn't even cross their mind. But I digress.
I am posting today to tell you that I am re-purposing this blog. I have come to a realization just recently, and it is that I live with some pretty intense guilt. Guilt over my childhood, and guilt over my failures, and guilt when I can't protect the people I love. So my writing from now on will be my memories from growing up as a homeschooler in a family that adopted and did foster care. I want to start with a couple of disclaimers, and the first is that this is from my perspective, and mine alone- I can't speak for anyone else, and sometimes the way I felt will sound harsh, but the second is that there will be absolutely no apologies here. I have spent my life apologizing for things I had no control over, and things that can't be changed, so I am stopping here and now on this blog. That being said, I want everyone to know that I love my family more than life itself, I would give up anything for them, and I admire the love my parents have for eachother, for us kids, and for the world. I wouldn't change anything they've done, and this is not a criticism of their parenting, this is simply an honest view of my childhood as I experienced it. I guess my hope is that if anyone who reads this can relate in any way, they will feel less alone because of it. I'll start tomorrow from my beginning.
